Wednesday, 9 December 2009


I've been sat here thinking about families latley, maybe because its that time of year and most people will be seeing theirs.

Unfortunatley i wont be one of them...most of my family has died and the rest dont get along.
I think that for me family are not just people who are related to you somehow, i think family is/are those people who shape and form our lives by being part of it, many of the people i have met in the last 7 or 8 years since my parents past away have helped guide me and nudge me when ive needed or required it, and it is these people i consider my family.

as i write this its about 11:30 at night and i've been hyome for a couple of hours from work and im deciding what to do with my time and i find that some of the people i want to talk to arent around and yet i find i cant just ring them a) becuase of the latness of the hour & b) i dont know what to say; it never occurs to me that i should be the one to start a conversation or to do something....

Recently ive had some people in my life declare that i `have and attitude` now i understand that many people seem to think that this means im bossy, opionated and rude...yes i suppose i could be all these things but i also like to think that in fact i have as much right to express my feelings and thoughts as much as anyone...i aklois have the right noit to take abuse from people!

I often think that taking crap from people is a form of surrender, i dont always agree that its the best thing to do, ill be damned if im going to keep quiet just so i can be steam-rollered into something, nor am i going to let myself fade away when i have an opinion of something!

before anyone reading this jumps to the conclusion that i am unhappy, let me clear this up...i am happy where i am. i just would enjoy some of my friends spending a little time with me rather than just deciding im out of sight...out of mind!